Wolverines!

It happened. I graduated! Well, almost.

This weekend was graduation weekend and I was able to walk but I still have one last class to finish over the summer. It is so close now I can taste it!

It was such a fun weekend spent with family celebrating my accomplishment. It was not an easy road to get here but I am glad I stuck with it and kept trying. I have now accomplished one of my dreams!

My journey to become a college graduate was not easy and it took many attempts to even get started. It was full of tears at times and almost constant overwhelming stress. But, it was something I desperately wanted because I knew if I could get a bachelors degree it would prove to myself that I was capable of accomplishing hard things.

My whole life I felt like I would give up on things that I wanted as soon as they got tough. I let many hopes and dreams slip through my fingers because of this and it was one of my least favorite traits. I didn’t want to be like this and I knew I could change it but that it would take the hard work that I was not used to doing. Although I knew this it was still so hard as I had given up for nearly 20 years.

After I graduated from high school I chose to work instead of go to school. But, after a few months I knew I wanted to go to school. After a couple of stressful tries of getting through the application I finally got signed up for classes at the Community College by my home. It was winter semester and I took a full time course load and really enjoyed it. However, after summer I was back to struggling to sign up for class and felt overwhelmed by everything that I only took one class. After that semester I got engaged and decided it was too hard to take classes and plan a wedding. So I dropped out. I felt ashamed that I was no longer going after something that I wanted once again in my life.

The summer after Ty and I got married I was back to feeling that pull again to be in school. I applied to two schools and got in to both but got overwhelmed by signing up for classes that I never made it to either school. I pushed my dream of graduating from college aside once again and decide to just work while Ty went to school. A year passed once more and the desire was back, stronger than ever.

Through many tears and frustration I applied to Utah Valley University, got in, and was ready to sign up for classes. Ty kept pushing me to keep with the process and I kept wanting to give up. If it wasn’t for Ty I don’t think I would have ever made it back to school. But somehow it was finally the first day of school. I did it, I had finally found my way back to school.

That first morning was so overwhelming, stressful, and anxiety filled. Ty had to go to work in the morning so we planned that I would pick him up so he could drop me off so I did not have to add the stress of parking to my already scary day. Unfortunately, Ty’s morning duties at work ran longer than expected and I was now going to be late to my first class. This sent my anxiety over the edge. When he got in the car and we started talking about the options I started sobbing and I couldn’t stop. All the stress that had been building up from applying and getting ready for this day came rushing out. There were so many different emotions that I could not stop the tears for a good thirty minutes. Poor Ty, he tried so hard to console me and to let me know that it’d be okay if I was a few minutes late to my class. But I could not stop the tears and I was convinced he was wrong and that my college career was over before it began because I missed that first class. I thought I was doomed to repeat giving up as I had on every hard thing I had before. I thought I was never going to make it back to school. Luckily, I had Ty. He let me have time to get everything out but then still encouraged me to go to my second and third class of the day. I did. And I loved it!

The next two and a half years went by in a blear. There were hard times but I was enjoying school that it made it easy to fight through it. I was going to school full time, year round. By the end I was so beat that it felt impossible once again.

My last semester was the toughest for me because I was so done and ready to move on that I had little motivation to complete the assignments I needed to. A week and a half before graduation I felt as I did on that first day of school; that it was impossible and maybe it would be easier if I just gave up. I know that is ridiculous to think when you only have a week and a half before you walk at graduation. But it felt so true. It was the hardest week of my college career and the only thing that got me through it was the fact that it was only a week and a half until I was done. Like done done.

I am so grateful I made it back to school, even though it was a bumpy road at times. I have learned so much and the majority of what I learned was what I am capable of and that I can do hard things! I have become a person that I am proud of. Even though I am not the exact person I hope to be someday I know I am capable of becoming that person because I have learned how to fight through hard times, follow my dreams, and learn. I know how to learn to develop the skills and traits I hope to have one day.

I am so excited for the future and I am so proud of myself for getting to where I am today!